SOWING SERENITY

Although I've tried very hard to convince myself and others in the past, it's actually a total myth that some people are inherently more emotionally unstable, while others are just lucky enough to be born with a more balanced temperament.

"You're not born with a bad attitude, sweetheart. Attitudes are developed, and with effort and intention, they can be changed."

Of course, there are certain biological factors that can impact on how emotional we tend to feel. However, the key thing that most people miss, is that emotional stability is determined by the habits you cultivate over time, not the genetics you were born with.

Now, I'm going to let you in on a little secret, the only way to become emotionally stable is to intentionally cultivate the characteristics of an emotionally stable person. You can't just wait for emotional stability to magically fall from the sky like a rainbow-coloured unicorn. No, it takes effort and conscious habit-building. It's like planting a garden; you have to water it, nurture it, and give it love to see it grow.

So, if you desire to become more emotionally stable, grab your emotional gardening tools, and let's start planting those seeds of emotional stability today.

Heres several little seeds for growing emotional stability:

Embrace the uncertainty.

"Embrace the uncertainty of life, for it is through the unknown that we discover our true potential."

Embracing uncertainty is a vital aspect of living a fulfilling life. While uncertainty can be uncomfortable and anxiety-inducing, it can also be a catalyst for growth and change. By accepting that life is unpredictable, we become more resilient and adaptable to change.

Instead of avoiding uncertainty, emotionally stable individuals learn to face it head-on. They understand that life is a journey full of twists and turns, and every new experience brings valuable lessons. Embracing uncertainty allows individuals to step out of their comfort zones and take risks, which can lead to personal and professional growth.

Moreover, accepting uncertainty can help individuals overcome their fears and develop a sense of inner peace. When we stop trying to control everything in our lives and surrender to the unknown, we create space for new possibilities to emerge.

Let go of control

"Surrender the need to control every outcome, and you'll find liberation in the freedom of letting life flow."

Letting go of control can be a challenging but liberating experience. Many individuals believe that having control over everything in their lives is the key to happiness and success. However, the emotionally stable person understands that this need for control can be counterproductive and even harmful.

Relinquishing control means accepting that not everything in life can be controlled or predicted. It involves letting go of the belief that we can control other people, situations, or outcomes. Instead, it means trusting the process and having faith that everything will work out in its due time.

When we let go of control, we open ourselves up to new experiences and opportunities. We become more flexible and adaptable, allowing us to respond to challenges and setbacks with grace and resilience. We also become more present in the moment, as we no longer obsess over the past or worry about the future.

Letting go of control can lead to greater inner peace and contentment. When we stop trying to control everything, we free ourselves from the stress and anxiety that come with it. We can relax and enjoy the journey, rather than constantly striving for a specific outcome.

Accept painful emotions

"Embrace the pain, for it is through the acceptance of our painful emotions that we find the strength to heal and grow."

Accepting painful emotions can be a challenging but essential aspect of emotional stability. Painful emotions such as sadness, anger, and anxiety are a natural part of life and can arise in response to a wide range of experiences, including loss, rejection, and disappointment.

The emotionally stable person understands that these emotions are not inherently bad or wrong. Instead, they are an integral part of the human experience, and denying or suppressing them can lead to further emotional turmoil.

By accepting painful emotions, individuals can allow themselves to feel these emotions fully, without judgment or resistance. This acceptance can help individuals develop greater emotional resilience and cope with difficult situations more effectively.

Furthermore, accepting painful emotions can lead to greater self-awareness and personal growth. By allowing ourselves to feel and acknowledge our emotions, we can gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and our needs. This understanding can help us make healthier choices and build stronger relationships with ourselves and others.

Be skeptical of your thoughts

"Question the whispers of your mind, for in skepticism lies the power to free yourself from the shackles of negative thoughts.”

Being skeptical of our thoughts is a crucial aspect of emotional stability. Our thoughts can influence our emotions and behaviors, and negative self-talk can lead to feelings of anxiety, self-doubt, and depression.

The emotionally stable person understands that not all thoughts are accurate or helpful. They recognise that negative self-talk can be a self-fulfilling prophecy and challenge their negative thoughts with skepticism.

Questioning our thoughts involves challenging them with curiosity and openness. It means asking ourselves whether our thoughts are based on facts or assumptions and whether they are helpful or harmful.

Challenging negative self-talk can help individuals develop greater emotional resilience and cope with difficult situations more effectively. By replacing negative self-talk with positive affirmations, individuals can cultivate greater self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-compassion.

Moreover, being skeptical of our thoughts can lead to greater self-awareness and personal growth. By questioning our thoughts, we can gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and our beliefs. This understanding can help us identify and challenge negative patterns of thinking and make healthier choices.

Be assertive

“Assertiveness is the art of drawing a line in the sand and standing confidently behind it.”

Being assertive is a vital aspect of emotional stability. The emotionally stable person understands that expressing their needs, wants, and boundaries is essential for their well-being and personal growth.

Assertiveness involves expressing oneself in a clear, direct, and respectful manner, without being aggressive or passive. It means standing up for oneself while also respecting the rights and feelings of others.

The emotionally stable person recognises that being assertive can lead to greater self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-respect. By expressing their needs and boundaries, they can create healthier and more fulfilling relationships with others.

Moreover, being assertive can help individuals develop greater emotional resilience and cope with difficult situations more effectively. By expressing themselves assertively, individuals can communicate their needs and boundaries, reducing the likelihood of misunderstandings and conflicts.

Set healthy boundaries

"Setting healthy boundaries is not about building walls, it's about creating doors that let in only what is good for your emotional well-being."

Setting healthy boundaries is a crucial aspect of emotional stability. Boundaries define what is acceptable and unacceptable behaviour in relationships, and they are essential for protecting one's emotional well-being and communicating one's needs to others.

The emotionally stable person recognises that setting healthy boundaries is not selfish, but rather a form of self-care. They understand that without healthy boundaries, they are more likely to experience emotional distress and be unable to build healthy relationships with others.

Setting healthy boundaries involves identifying one's needs, values, and limits, and communicating them clearly and respectfully to others. It means saying "no" when necessary and prioritising one's emotional well-being above the expectations of others.

Moreover, setting healthy boundaries can help individuals develop greater emotional resilience and cope with difficult situations more effectively. By setting clear boundaries, individuals can reduce the likelihood of misunderstandings, conflicts, and emotional distress.

Prioritise life alignment over feelings.

"Feelings can be fleeting, but values endure. Prioritize accordingly."

Prioritising life alignment over feelings is a critical aspect of emotional stability. Our emotions can be influenced by external factors and can often lead us astray from our long-term goals and beliefs.

The emotionally stable person recognises that feelings can be fickle and unreliable, and they should never be the sole basis for making important decisions. They understand that prioritising their values over their feelings is crucial for maintaining their sense of direction and purpose.

Prioritising life alignment involves identifying one's values, goals, and beliefs and making decisions that align with them. It means taking a long-term perspective and considering the potential consequences of our actions on our well-being and the well-being of others.

Moreover, prioritising life alignment can help individuals develop greater emotional resilience and cope with difficult situations more effectively. By prioritising their values over their feelings, individuals can make decisions that are consistent with their long-term goals and beliefs, even when it may involve short-term discomfort.

These traits may seem daunting to cultivate, but remember that emotional stability is a habit that can be developed over time. It requires effort, patience, and practice. So start small, focus on one trait at a time, and watch your emotional stability grow.

All you need to know:

If you want to become more emotionally stable, work to cultivate these habits:

• Embrace uncertainty

• Let go of the need for control

• Accept painful emotions

• Be skeptical of your thoughts

• Express your wants and needs assertively

• Set healthy boundaries

• Prioritise life alignment over feelings.

Plant these seeds (make these habits) and your growth will change your life!

Much love,

Eliza Jane