Make Up Your Mind: A Guide to Overcoming Indecisiveness

"Your mind is a garden, your thoughts are the seeds, you can grow flowers, or you can grow weeds." ~Unknown

Hmmmm,

I think I suffer from indecisiveness,

but I can't make up my mind.

HAHA,

No, but seriously.

Do you ever find yourself struggling to make even the simplest of decisions? Are you constantly second-guessing yourself, unsure of what to do or which direction to take? I know firsthand how frustrating and overwhelming it can be to make decisions, no matter how big or small. In fact, there was a time in my life when I would spend hours agonising over what to wear, what to eat, or even what to say in a simple text. Or maybe you're just stuck in a rut and can't decide on your next career move or whether to pursue a new hobby. Whatever the case may be, indecisiveness can leave you feeling powerless, frustrated, and unable to move forward in life.

I've been there, and let me tell you, it was not a fun place to be.

So let's talk about indecisiveness. As it's something that I've definitely struggled with personally, and I know how many of you can relate. You might have that feeling of being stuck, unable to move forward, or just completely unsure of what direction to take. But we know that if we want to live our best lives and be true to ourselves, we need to overcome this tendency towards indecision.

For me, what I really want is autonomy over my own life. I want to be confident in myself, my decisions, my choices, and not let others' opinions hold me back. I want to cut out the things that don't matter to me and focus on living a creative and purposeful life, true to who I am, aligned.

But why is it so damn hard to make decisions sometimes? Let's be honest, one of the biggest factors is fear. Fear of making the wrong choice, fear of failure, fear of disappointment… again… Particularly if you've made a wrong choice in the past and you're holding it against yourself, like you're holding onto this belief that you're incapable of making the right choices. And look, it's so easy to get bogged down in all the possible negative outcomes and end up frozen, unable to make a decision.

But here's the thing: Holding onto this fear of the most “disastrous outcome” can completely hinder our decision-making capabilities. We end up choosing the "safe" option, even if it's not really what we want, just because it seems like the least risky choice. But we know that's not a way to live. So how can we overcome this fear?

KNOW THYSELF, TRUST THYSELF.

One way is to get in touch with our true selves. Ask yourself: who am I, really? What do I want out of life? What are my interests and passions? By answering these questions, we can start to build up confidence in who we are and what we have to offer. We can learn to trust our own instincts and make decisions based on what feels right to us, rather than what we think is the "safest" option.

"Self-knowledge is the key to self-trust. When you know who you are, you can trust yourself to be true to that."

F**K WHAT THEY THINK.

Another factor that can hold us back is our desire for approval from others. We want to please the people around us and avoid conflict. But sometimes, this can lead us down a path that's not really our own. We end up making decisions based on what we think others will approve of, rather than what we really want. When you stop placing so much value on what others think and start making decisions based on what lines up with your truest desires, you won't care what others think; you'll do you for you.

It's important to recognize that the people we grew up with and the social norms we were raised with can have a big impact on our decision-making. We may feel pressure to conform to certain expectations or to maintain a certain reputation. But at the end of the day, we need to live our own lives, not someone else's.

So how can we break free from these external pressures? One way is to find our own tribe. Surround ourselves with people who share our values and who will support us in pursuing our dreams. It can be scary to let go of old relationships, but it's important to prioritise our own growth and well-being.

"I don't need your approval, I've got my own."

MY MIND, MYSELF AND MY MINDSET.

Finally, we need to recognise that our mindset plays a big role in our ability to make decisions. If we're used to relying on external factors to guide us, it can be hard to shift towards a more internal locus of control. But by recognising our own agency and taking responsibility for our own lives, we can start to make decisions that truly align with our values and desires.

"Your mind is ultimately your own reality creating machine, where the power of your thoughts can delete the ideas of impossible, ignite your passions, and transform your world into source of endless possibilities.”

So my loves, let's stop letting indecisiveness hold us back. Let's get in touch with our true selves, break free from external pressures, and take control of our own lives. And although it's not always easy, it's always worth it.

And here's how we can start implementing changes into our lives to become more decisive:

Start small: Challenge yourself to make a small decision every day. It could be something as simple as what to wear or what to eat for breakfast. By practicing decision-making on a daily basis, you'll build up your confidence and develop your decision-making skills.

Trust your gut: When you're faced with a decision, don't overthink it. Listen to your intuition and make a decision based on your instincts. Your gut is often a reliable guide, so trust it and don't second-guess yourself.

Break it down: When faced with a bigger decision, break it down into smaller steps. Consider the pros and cons of each option and think about the potential outcomes of each. By breaking down the decision into smaller parts, you'll make it feel more manageable and less overwhelming.

Set a deadline: Give yourself a timeframe for making the decision and hold yourself accountable to it. Set a specific deadline and stick to it. This will help you avoid getting stuck in analysis paralysis and make the decision with more ease.

Stop asking for other opinions: While it can sometimes be helpful to seek advice from others, constantly asking for opinions can lead to further confusion and indecisiveness. Remember that you are the one who knows yourself best and has to live with the consequences of each decision. Trust yourself and have confidence in your ability to make the right choice for you. Instead of seeking external validation, focus on gathering all the necessary information and making an informed decision based on your own values and goals.

And now, it's time to gamify this process! I challenge you to make a decision today, no matter how small. Maybe it's choosing what to have for lunch or what book to read next. And then, tomorrow, make another decision. Keep going until you start to build that confidence and trust in yourself.

Remember, making decisions is a skill that can be developed with practice. And every decision, even the ones that don't turn out as expected, is an opportunity to learn and grow. So let's embrace our decision-making power and start living our best lives.

I have confidence in you! You should too!

Much love,

Eliza Jane