You Can't Pour From An Empty Cup.

Ever hit rock bottom and felt like you were teetering on the edge, ready to check out because you're just. SO. tired? It's a raw and real feeling, and guess what? It's okay to be there. It's okay to admit that you're not some kind of superhuman, but a human in need of some serious TLC.

I vividly recall a time when I hit that bottom, when I truly had nothing left. NOTHING. A close family member fell seriously ill, and I took it upon myself to be their saviour. I poured every ounce of energy into making their lives as easy as possible, sustaining this effort for months on end. When they finally recovered fully (thankfully), I should have felt relief, but instead, I found myself spiraling downward.

I was depleted. My mind was a mess, my body utterly fatigued, and my spirit? Well, I think she checked out entirely.

Yep, I've been there, done that, and even got the burnout badge to prove it.

Now why? I thought that helping others was supposed to be liberating, i thought thats what you were supported to do right. Thats what family is for thats what unconditional love is.

Wrong!

Here's the kicker: there's no gold star for burning yourself out. No trophy for sacrificing your own well-being on the altar of others' needs. It took hitting that rock bottom for me to realise the harsh truth: self-sacrifice doesn't always lead to salvation. In fact, it often leads to self-destruction. I had to learn the hard way that I couldn't pour from an empty cup, no matter how noble the cause. So I made a vow to myself: from that moment forward, I would prioritise my own self-care. I would learn to set boundaries, to say no when necessary, and to refill my own cup before attempting to pour into others'. It's a lesson I'll never forget, and one that continues to guide me on my journey toward self-love and authenticity.

So, how did I turn things around? It wasn't easy, that's for sure. But you cant keep pouring into everyone else's cups without even a sip for yourself. It took time, patience, and a whole lot of self-reflection. First and foremost, I had to redefine what it meant to be there for others. I realised that true support isn't about shouldering others burdens; it's about standing beside them, offering a hand when needed, but also empowering them to stand on their own two feet. I learned to delegate tasks and ask for help when I needed it, instead of trying to be the lone superhero.

But perhaps the most transformative change came from within. I made self-care non-negotiable. I carved out time in my schedule for activities that nourished my soul. Recognising that I couldn't show up fully for others if I wasn't taking care of myself first. And most importantly, I cultivated a mindset of self-compassion, letting go of perfectionism and embracing my own humanity.

So, what does putting yourself first look like in practice?

1. Self-awareness: Recognise your own needs and emotions. Pay attention to how you're feeling physically, mentally, and emotionally, and prioritise activities that replenish your energy and well-being.

2. Balance: Strive for balance in your life by setting boundaries and managing your time effectively. Make sure you're allocating enough time for self-care, personal pursuits, and rest alongside your responsibilities and goals.

3. Self-compassion: Be kind to yourself and practice self-compassion. Acknowledge that it's okay to have limits and to take breaks when needed. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you offer to others.

4. Delegate and ask for help: Don't be afraid to delegate tasks or ask for help. Whether it's enlisting the support of friends, family members, or a community, sharing the load can help prevent burnout and keep your cup full.

5. Boundaries: Set clear boundaries to ensure that your own needs are met. Communicate your limits respectfully and assertively, and prioritise your well-being without feeling guilty.

6. Self-care rituals: Cultivate self-care rituals that nourish your mind, body, and soul. Whether it's taking a walk in nature, practicing mindfulness, journaling, or head banging at the gym while lifting weights (my personal favourite), prioritise activities that help you recharge and refuel.

On this wild ride we call life, hitting rock bottom can feel like the end of the road. But as I've learned firsthand, it's often a turning point—a catalyst for profound growth and self-discovery. It's okay to admit when we're not okay, to acknowledge our own humanity and limitations. In fact, it's essential.

I've walked the path of self-sacrifice, believing it to be the pinnacle of love and support. But I've also tasted the bitter truth that pouring from an empty cup only leads to further depletion. Through trial and error, I've come to understand that true empowerment lies in self-care, in setting boundaries, and in prioritising our own well-being.

Putting ourselves first isn't selfish; it's necessary. It's about recognising our own needs, balancing our responsibilities, and practicing self-compassion along the way. It's about learning to stand beside others rather than carrying their burdens, empowering them to find their own strength.

So, let's make a pact together: to cultivate self-awareness, to embrace balance, to shower ourselves with the same kindness we offer to others, to delegate and ask for help when needed, and to cherish the rituals that nourish our souls. Because only when our cups are full can we truly pour into the lives of others with authenticity, resilience, and unwavering love.

In the end, it's not about being a superhero—it's about being human, beautifully imperfect and infinitely capable of growth and transformation.

Let's journey onward, embracing the beauty of self-love and empowerment every step of the way.

With love,

Eliza Jane.