You can be a Confident f*ck up.

Confidence doesn’t mean feeling good about yourself all the time.

Sometimes you can really dislike yourself over something you’ve done or said, and in full transparency, I'm also not an overly confident woman. But one thing I'm certainly coming to learn is that confidence definitely isn’t all about loving yourself and being the most vibrant person in the room. It's about trusting yourself and owning all the parts of yourself, including the fuck-ups and imperfections.

I mess up often! I say the wrong things, I look like rubbish on some days, but one thing I'm really starting to feel comfortable and confident with is who I am. And I do love her. Not the "I'm so confident I love myself" kind of love, but the "I accept you for who you are and I adore you" kind of love. I love me – she’s a bit silly and clumsy, and let's not even talk about fashion sense – it's practically nonexistent. But all this adds to my charm and individuality, defining the very essence of who I am: my loving, kind, and considerate nature. It might get me into sticky situations, but I am always committed to spreading love and making others feel good. By doing so, I give my life a sense of purpose. Interestingly, it's through my embrace of my own unique qualities and my determination to bring happiness to others that I've found a new level of confidence. These quirks are precisely what I hold dear about myself. I am just who I am, and she is good.

Now, you might be thinking now thats wonderful Eliza Jane but their just words how to consistently feel this way, especially when you're not in that positive headspace every day. Because trust me, that has not been the daily consensus.

And its not!

It's a journey, and it involves self-awareness, self-compassion, and practice. On those tougher days, remind yourself of the things you appreciate about yourself, just like I did in the above words. Embrace your quirks, remember your kindness, and focus on the impact you can have on others. With time and effort, you can cultivate this sense of self-love and acceptance more regularly.

Embracing the reality of our imperfections and quirks is a journey that resonates deeply with many. In a world that often praises an airbrushed version of perfection, acknowledging and even celebrating our own flaws can feel like a revolutionary act. It's the process of accepting that being genuine and authentic is far more valuable than striving for an unattainable ideal.

When we allow ourselves to be seen, warts and all, we create a space for real connections to blossom. People are drawn to authenticity, to those who don't shy away from sharing their highs and lows, their successes and failures. By openly admitting that you sometimes "f*ck up," you're inviting others to let their guards down too. This vulnerability is where empathy and understanding thrive, and it can lead to more meaningful relationships and interactions.

Remember that even those who seem to have it all together have their off days. Nobody is immune to the occasional stumble or misstep. When you choose to view your mistakes as opportunities for growth, you transform them from moments of embarrassment into stepping stones on your path to becoming a more resilient and self-aware individual.

Feeling comfortable in your own skin, despite the imperfections, is an empowering realization. It's a declaration that you are enough just as you are. This self-acceptance frees you from the chains of self-doubt and negative self-talk, allowing you to pursue your passions and goals with renewed vigor. The world needs more people who are unapologetically themselves, who aren't afraid to take risks and embrace their uniqueness.

Let's be honest – we've all had those moments of self-critique, where our actions haunt us or our self-esteem takes a hit. It's the paradox of striving for perfection while knowing it's utterly impossible. This perspective often leaves us feeling inadequate, stuck in a cycle of self-loathing that inhibits personal growth and stifles potential.

Well, imagine a world where confidence isn't about loving yourself unconditionally. Instead, it's about acknowledging your flaws, mistakes, and insecurities while embracing them as integral parts of your identity. Authentic confidence emerges from a place of self-trust – the belief that you can handle whatever life throws at you, even if it means stumbling along the way.

Rather than trying to mask our imperfections, authentic confidence empowers us to own them. It's understanding that growth arises from challenges and setbacks. By welcoming our flaws, we strip them of their power to control us, ultimately granting us the freedom to pursue our aspirations without fear of failure.

So how do we cultivate this level of self Trust and Authenticity?

Step 1: Acknowledge Your Inner Critic: Our inner critic can be relentless, amplifying our insecurities and shortcomings. However, recognising that this critical voice exists is the first step toward breaking free from its hold. Take moments of self-reflection to identify when this inner critic emerges and how it affects your thoughts and emotions. By shining a light on it, you gain the power to detach from its grip. Practice mindfulness techniques to observe these thoughts without judgment, reducing their influence over time.

Step 2: Embrace Your Imperfections: We all have aspects we consider imperfections. It could be a physical trait, a skill you lack, or a mistake you made. Instead of viewing these as hindrances, reframe them as unique attributes that contribute to your individuality. Make a list of these perceived imperfections and beside each one, jot down how they've positively shaped you. For instance, a past failure might have taught you resilience. Celebrating these traits as integral parts of your story shifts your perspective and empowers you to view them with pride.

Step 3: Practice Self-Compassion: Treating yourself with the same kindness you'd offer a friend is a powerful practice. Understand that making mistakes is human; it's a natural part of growth. When you stumble, approach yourself with understanding rather than self-condemnation. Imagine what you'd say to a friend in a similar situation and extend that same compassion to yourself. This practice helps dissolve the cycle of self-critique, fostering a nurturing relationship with yourself.

Step 4: Set Courageous Goals: True self-trust is built through action. Pushing your boundaries and stepping outside your comfort zone not only demonstrates your capability but also reinforces your belief in yourself. Set goals that challenge you – whether it's learning a new skill, speaking in public, or pursuing a passion project. Break these goals into smaller, achievable steps. With each milestone you reach, your self-trust will grow, solidifying the understanding that you can overcome obstacles.

Step 5: Set Rules and Boundaries for Yourself and Others: Establishing clear boundaries is crucial for maintaining a healthy sense of self-worth and self-trust. Determine what behaviors, situations, and interactions support your well-being and align with your values. Communicate these boundaries to yourself and those around you. When you uphold these limits, you safeguard your self-esteem from external influences that might erode it. Boundaries help you maintain control over your self-perception, preventing others from defining your worth.

Incorporating These Steps Into Your Journey:

Start by selecting one of these steps that resonates with you the most. Begin integrating it into your daily life and build a consistent practice. As you make progress, gradually incorporate the other steps, creating a holistic approach to building authentic self-trust and acceptance. Remember, transformation takes time, so be patient with yourself as you embark on this journey toward embracing your imperfections and cultivating genuine confidence. Each small victory brings you closer to the empowered, self-assured person you aspire to be.

We live in a world obsessed with superficial notions of confidence. True empowerment lies in embracing authentic confidence. It's a shift from seeking external validation to nurturing self-trust and acknowledging the beauty in imperfection. By recognizing the power of self-ownership and understanding that growth stems from adversity, we pave the way for a more fulfilling life journey. So, dare to trust yourself, imperfections and all, and embark on a path to authentic confidence.

Ready to embark on your journey to authentic confidence? Start by acknowledging one thing you've been critical of in yourself and find a way to reframe it. This might mean doing some work on yourself, yes, but wouldn't you rather be confident because you did it for yourself than just keep trying to love yourself into confidence?

Remember, embracing authentic confidence is a transformative process that begins with a single step.

Remember, embracing authentic confidence is a transformative process that begins with a single step.

Ps, If your ready to unlock your full potential and build unshakable confidence? Reach out to me today and let's embark on a transformative journey together.